It occurred to me that this website is still on my resume. Made sense when I had my portfolio here, not so much now. I should just have one big link to the Evil Squirrels video. Helped get me an offer once before.
I just came back from a morning walk with Glenn. He’s so cute, he points at everything. Bunny, squirrel, dog, bird. This morning he pointed at someone’s front steps and said, “up!”
Still, I would much rather sleep in the morning than go on these sunrise walks. The night weaning has not been going well. His attitude has been, you won’t nurse me, fine, I won’t sleep. And I can’t even give in because it hurts! I hope he gets the new routine soon. I’m so tired of being tired.
Owen graduated preschool this week :'( he saw four of his classmates at his teacher’s house on Friday, but i think it just made him sad, not being able to play with them. He’s so done with all this. I feel so bad for him. I hope school is somewhat normal in the fall. He needs to play with other kids.
Work has been pretty doom and gloomy. Everyone is deeply concerned about their jobs. Not being able to see anyone I think makes it worse too, being disconnected like that. Maryam and I received high praise for the mentoring we’re doing which made me feel mildly better. I miss my coworkers.
We’ve been bouncing quarantine away on our bounce house. Glenn learned to say yeah! Just so he can answer, do you want to go in the bounce house?
Everything else is Donald Duck. Look geese, “Donald Duck!”
His sleep has been shit. My mental health coach has been pushing me to night wean or sleep train since it seems to have the biggest effect on my mood. I read my post on night weaning Owen and took my own advice and put him to sleep without nursing at the beginning of the night. He cried for 30 minutes, but had the best night ever after that. So much so I woke up at 4:30 and couldn’t fall back asleep, so I’m watching supernatural.
The mental health coaching is free from att. I’m mostly learning to be mindful and to take time for self care. Helping me not be so cranky all the time.
We saw my parents for the first time in months last weekend. No one seems to know anymore what we’re supposed to be doing. Yes, we could stay locked in our houses forever, but I see how badly the kids need to interact with other kids. No idea what kindergarten will be like in the fall. No idea if I’ll ever go back to the office. Disney’s opening again next month, but who knows how that’ll go.
So this Corona virus has everyone losing their minds. The hysteria is way scarier than the virus itself so far. We are to work from home until further notice and schools are closing. Owen had school today, but only he and Mika were there.
I’m worried more for the folks who can’t work from home, whose jobs rely on customers, Healthcare workers. Such a mess.
Glennikins will be 11 months in a few days, so upside, I guess I’m done with pumping. He still doesn’t sleep, but maybe he’ll do better with me home.
1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? Was a mom of 2. Worked in an open office space.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I wanted to do some learning. I did take a reinforcement learning class during leave that I absorbed all of 1% of. I learned a lot about kubernetes and docker this year though.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Me! And Emily apparently.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Sleep, exercise, a waistline
7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 4/20, Glenn’s birthday
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I got a progression, gave birth
9. What was your biggest failure? Screaming at the kids
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The pregnancy was miserable, but worth it… still, never again
11. What was the best thing you bought? I’d say our Doula, but she didn’t cost anything. I would have paid for her if insurance didn’t though. She was awesome! Yumi baby food. Expensive, but super convenient and Glenn loves it.
14. Where did most of your money go? Groceries, Owen’s school, baby stuff
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Baby #2!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
l. happier or sadder? Happier, last year was rough
ll. thinner or fatter? I was pregnant last year, but that wasn’t fat, so fatter
lll. richer or poorer? Richer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Sleeping
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Yelling
20. How will you be spending Christmas? People coming here
24. What was your favorite TV program? The good place, I can’t want to see how it ends. Outlander I finished in like two weeks when I was on leave. The ending of high castle was meh, but better than Game of Thrones
26. What was the best book you read? The Book With No Pictures
28. What did you want and get? A healthy baby
29. What did you want and not get? I’m spoiled
30. What was your favorite film of this year? I still haven’t seen Toy Story 4.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 34 and I was so sleep deprived, I don’t remember. I think I saw my friends at some point. I ate Indian takeout with my parents.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? If Owen wasn’t quite such a jerk. Sorry kid, but 4 year olds man
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? I’ve been obsessed with used clothes from thredUP.
34. What kept you sane? Other moms
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Our mayor won by 3 votes, well it was contested so we’ll see
37. Who did you miss? Papi
38. Who was the best new person you met? Glenn
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: Doulas are awesome! Open office spaces aren’t the worst.
41. Summarize 2019: ouch, baby, need sleep, work, need sleep, play
42. What are you most looking forward to next year? watching Owen and Glenn run around together. And Disney. Always Disney.
43. What were your predictions last year? I thought we would need therapy after the game of thrones finale, I dunno about that, more like anger management. I said our new office space will be shiny, but suck. It did suck at first, but now that I’m used to it, I think I might like it better. I also predicted I wouldn’t sleep, well that was spot on
44. What are your predictions for 2020? Planning this Disney trip will be extra stressful between going to CA, having two kids to schedule around, Owen’s school schedule, my dad not in the greatest shape. I predict Glenn will be an early walker. I predict I will still be breastfeeding this time next year.
I don’t remember the last time I blogged, so I guess it’s been a while. Between work and the kids I don’t get much time to do anything. I still need to finish this year’s photo book, but I have no idea when that will happen.Work has been busy, but fun. The open space isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It’s not nearly full, so it’s not the noise isn’t that bad and it’s nice to have the treadmill desk right there and to be able to ask folks around me if I have a question. Also nice to overhear meetings the managers are having. I really miss being able to pump in my office. The pumping room is nice, but I can’t really work in there, though I have taken a few calls while pumping.I like my assignment right now. Getting to build stuff from scratch is a lot of fun. I really hate CDP, but learning about docker and kubernetes is super useful. I definitely upped my python game too.Glenn still isn’t gaining weight well. We have to take him in for monthly weigh checks. They always tell us he looks healthy and he’s probably just small like his mom and to feed him more solids. We’re feeding him more and more, but he drinks less and less milk. He doesn’t seem to be gaining weight and better and now he’s just constipated all the time.At least he likes eating. We’re doing one of these fancy baby food delivery services. I realize it’s like a thousand times cheaper to make our own, but I barely have time to shower, never mind make baby food. It’s good to have a wide variety too. As it turns out, he loves Japanese sweet potato and they don’t sell that at our ShopRite.Glenn loves Owen. He will eat four times as much if we feed him when Owen is eating. He loves playing with him and watching him jump around. It’s adorable.I’m currently in the process of registering Owen for kindergarten for next year. I still can’t believe he’s five. Time goes by too fast.
Things have been much easier the last few weeks. Glenn hasn’t had any bouts of uncontrolled crying… with me anyway. He’s gotten very good at communicating. He has different cries for different needs which makes it easier to decipher what’s wrong. He’s super social and loves “talking” to us. He’ll even sit and listen to a book at bedtime.
He still gets a lot of gas, but that peddling the legs trick actually works with him. It never did with Owen. Most nights he sleeps pretty well after that (though he still won’t sleep on his own). Last night was awful. I have no idea why. Hopefully it doesn’t turn into a thing.
He absolutely loves baths and recently figured out how to splash in the tub. He’s so cute. Doesn’t matter how angry he is, put him in the bath, he’s a happy dude.
Owen has been going to camp every day which gives us a nice break every afternoon. I love the kid, but he just go go goes all the time. Plus, I’m trying to get through all of Outlander before my one week trial ends.
I’m dreading going back to work. Not so much because of work, but I’ll miss the kids and I’m worried Bryan won’t be able to get Glenn to sleep. Right now he either needs the boob or the carrier.
(Playing Star Wars) “This is poo poo, checking in. This is pee pee, checking in. This is caca checking in. This is (makes farting noise) checking in…”
Owen: “I found the Lego guy my mother”
Me: why do you call me “my mother?”
Owen: because you’re a princess
Me: in that case, carry on
Me: hey Owen, come here
Owen: I’m looking for a Lego thing
Me: just for a minute. How was school
Me: what did you do today?
Owen: I cut out shamrocks (walks back to Legos) I’m done talking to you now
Grammy: I’m more like auxiliary family
Owen: all alone, in this empty house
Me: did having the contract help you follow rules?
Owen: a little, but Connor broke the contract
Me: Connor didn’t have a contact, do you want to make one next time for him so he won’t call you names?
Me: what should happen if he breaks the rules?
Owen: the police should come and arrest him and take him to jail
We were hoping he would be an easier baby. In some ways he is. He actually sleeps at night … as long as he’s next to me. He’s better at breastfeeding. I guess everything else is because we have an idea what we’re doing now.
In general though, he is not a happy baby. If he’s not sleeping or eating, he’s crying. He’s awful at naps. He falls asleep if I walk him in the carrier, that’s about it. I’ve been getting a lot of steps. He loves being outside the most, unless it’s too windy or hot.
Nothing settles him from about 5-9. He’s angry at the world. He’ll scream and hit at my boobs for not putting him to sleep. There were some nights he didn’t fall asleep until 11 and he just got angrier and angrier. Bryan was saying last night that at least squats and some formula worked with Owen. This one wants nothing but sleep and he’s too tired to do it.
But he’s adorable. The other day when Bryan and Owen came home, he genuinely looked happy to see them. My favorite are the faces he makes when he’s pooping.