(Playing Star Wars) “This is poo poo, checking in. This is pee pee, checking in. This is caca checking in. This is (makes farting noise) checking in…”
Owen: “I found the Lego guy my mother”
Me: why do you call me “my mother?”
Owen: because you’re a princess
Me: in that case, carry on
Me: hey Owen, come here
Owen: I’m looking for a Lego thing
Me: just for a minute. How was school
Me: what did you do today?
Owen: I cut out shamrocks (walks back to Legos) I’m done talking to you now
Grammy: I’m more like auxiliary family
Owen: all alone, in this empty house
Me: did having the contract help you follow rules?
Owen: a little, but Connor broke the contract
Me: Connor didn’t have a contact, do you want to make one next time for him so he won’t call you names?
Me: what should happen if he breaks the rules?
Owen: the police should come and arrest him and take him to jail