I think I talked to my friends more this week than I have all year, lol. There was some drama going on, but I think we have it all straightened out now. Our group has some issues with communication.
I’m definitely guilty of talking about my friends behind their backs, but who isn’t? Even the nicest people will say stuff about their friends family, neighbors, coworkers, bloggers. Yeah, I talk about you. I refer to you all as: “this girl who’s blog I read …”
Generally my approach when I have an issue with someone: I wait to see if it goes away. If it gets better, good; stays the same, I learn to live with it; gets worse, I lose a friend. Honestly, I’d probably rather lose a friend than deal with an emotionally charged argument.
That doesn’t work with my husband. I’m pretty much stuck with him :P When we have problems, we just gotta cry/yell it out. Worst feeling in the world, but there’s some stuff you can’t avoid talking about. I think we’re getting better at approaching things as sensitively as possible, but it’s easy to let shit slip that you don’t really mean, especially when you’re very emotional and defensive. And then there’s things you feel one day, but completely change your mind the next. Or in my case, I usually have no idea how I feel and my opinion seems to change by the minute.
I only had minor involvement in this particular issue with my friends, so talking about it wasn’t too bad for me. Two of my other friends I think are going to have a much harder time because they have more history and it’ll be more emotional for them. I told them both they should talk though, get it over with, like a band aid.
How do you deal with conflict in your relationships?
Yea..definitely the worst feeling in the world when you & your S/O gotta cry/yell it out…but at least once everything’s hashed out there’s mucho love afterwards :)
This reminds me of the love/hate relationships I have with my friends. I’ve got one really annoying and irritating friend and no matter how hard I try to ignore him because what he does just pisses me off, I end up talking to him later as if nothing happened. I think that’s better – moving on – than having to actually talk about it and sort things out. He’s that kind of “never mind” person. It drives me insane. I don’t know why we’re friends when so much about him annoys me. :P I guess it’s because we get along when we’re at our best moments.
When I’m with my boyfriend we can’t just “drop it”. We have to talk about it. Sometimes in those situations I want to just forget it and forgive him straight away but we talk it out… so that it doesn’t happen again. I think that’s why I like talking it over and meeting in the middle. It stops it from happening endlessly.
I think the number one thing is being honest. I can’t lie to someone. I have another friend who I love dearly but his attitude often annoys me and sometimes I just snap at him for it and tell him I have a problem with it. He’s not going to change, obviously, but I at least made him apologise for the things he said that I found offensive. I think it’s important to meet in the middle.
If I lose a friend, so be it, really. :P I wouldn’t rather lose a friend, but if someone is that important to me I’m willing to go through any argument to arrive at peace with them.
I hate conflicts in relationships especially family relationships, I always feel that I don’t have anybody and I’m alone when I fight with one or all of my family members. It sucks.
After a while though, we say sorry to eachother and get over it.
Conflict with friends is harder for me. When I’m in an arguement with my friend, I always feel that I am right and they are wrong! They feel the same and none of us in the end says sorry so it all turns dramatic and then we don’t talk to each other.
HAHAHAHA. I seriously wonder what you tell people about me….. Hahah.
I know what you mean about your approach to issues. I pretty much have the same approach, I guess. I rarely have issues with friends, though.