Sunday August 4th, 2019 and Monday August 5th, 2019

Since maternity leave affords me more free time and the morning of the fourth wasn’t stellar, I expanded this to two days in the Life of Lissy


You’re half awake, you just got Glenn back to sleep. You hear Owen’s door open. Nooooo. You forgot to lock the nursery door. He opens it and asks you what time it is. Glenn’s eyes pop open. Nooooooo. “Owen, it’s way too early, go back to bed until the light turns green!” He actually goes back to bed, but the damage had been done. You attempt to nurse Glenn back to sleep. He’s even more squirmy than when he woke up before, but his eyes are half closed, maybe there’s hope. He farts and pops off the boob. He gives you a big smile. Nope, you’re in trouble.

Your Fitbit claims you got a decent amount of sleep. Whatever, no use crying over lost sleep now. The big problem is that Owen is up too early and he’s going to be tired. You really hope he goes back to sleep. Glenn doesn’t want anymore milk.You do tummy time with Glenn on your tummy. He still hates it. You tell Alexa to turn off the white noise. You hear Owen playing in his room. Ugh. You go and get him and scold him for waking up early.. AGAIN. You decide maybe 7:30 is too ambitious and set the light for 7. You tell Owen not to leave his room until it changes color. If you let him come play now, that’s just reward for getting up early.

As you turn to leave Owen says Glenn spit up on the bed. You gotta clean that up. You go back into the nursery with Glenn. He talks to you “ahooooo.” You check that tooth that’s coming in. He smiles. Bunches of sneezes lately, you hope he’s not sick. He’s very happy you help him stand on the floor so he can “walk”. You change his diaper.

Owen comes in yelling the light turned green. You put in your contacts and brush your teeth while they play.

You nurse Glenn again. He fusses because he has to wait for a letdown. You read Owen a toy story story. You ask him what he wants for breakfast. He wants yogurt and smoothie. You ask if he’d rather have waffles as you have ingredients to use up. He does! But ones you’ve previously frozen since he’s too hungry to wait for fresh ones. Well, that doesn’t help, but it’s easier. Glenn spits up all over himself.

Glenn is not happy about going in the carrier, but you bounce him by the oven fan until he falls asleep. You heat up waffles for Owen and make yourself chocolate banana oats. Uh oh, you gotta potty. Glenn fusses a bit, but stays asleep. You check the weather, too hot for a playground this morning. You ask Owen if he wants to go shopping. He doesn’t want to do anything. Great. He’s a lot more difficult to deal with at home. The playground is great because he plays and Glenn sleeps. You go over options in your head. Mima will probably charge for Glenn, the mall doesn’t open until 11, Owen wants to go to the library, but they don’t open until 1. Yeah, you’re stuck.

You decide to tidy up. You help Owen carry some Legos upstairs. You a ask him to put this super hero costume away. He comes downstairs wearing it.

Glenn is awake. You go back upstairs to the nursery to nurse him. His poor little ear is all scratched up from him batting at it, you assume from teething pain. Owen comes upstairs and you scold him for distracting Glenn from eating and ask to stop… Several times. Glenn smiles at Owen. You torture Glenn with more time time. You file his razor sharp nails which he’s not thrilled about either. Owen won’t stop touching Glenn. You beg him to go out somewhere with you because it’s too early and he’s going to drive you crazy. He doesn’t want to go anywhere until the Thai place later. You thought he wanted Italian. You yell at him for touching Glenn and carry him into his room. Gaaaah, it’s too early.

You go apologize to Owen. He wants to go to the toy store to get a present for William, but it’s not open yet. You convince him to go to Walmart. You change Glenn’s diaper though you remember he’s due for a giant poop, ugh. That’s sure to happen while you’re out. You remember you’re supposed to go an alternate way, but can’t remember why. Oh right, the motorcycle thing. Owen says the dollar store is open, you go there instead.

All the motorcycles are in the parking lot. You hope you’re out before that starts. You try to jiggle Glenn to sleep. He gets quiet, but then he starts crying again. Shit. You tell Owen to pick a toy because you gotta go. By the time you get to the register Glenn is hysterical. The lady in front of you let’s you go first. Well this was a disaster. At least you’re leaving before the motorcycle thing starts. Should have just stayed home. Now it’ll be two hours of awake time by the time you get back.

You ask Owen if he’ll leave you two alone while you nap. Sure, if you put on a movie. You groan, but give in because this kid needs sleep. Probably you too. He asks for finding Dory. You remind him he wanted to watch nightmare before Christmas. Yes, he wants that instead.

You tell him there’s Cheerios in your purse if he gets hungry. You go upstairs with Glenn and lock the door this time. You nurse him to sleep. At least that was easy.

30 minutes later his eyes are open again. Oh crap. He’s smiling. Crap. You turn off Owen’s movie, promising he can watch the rest later and ask if he’s hungry. He wants Cheerios with almond butter. Easy enough. You call that his food is ready. “Already?” It’s not exactly involved. You go back upstairs to Glenn and make him do tummy time while you have a kind bar. He rolls off the pillow and you get chocolate on the sheets when you go to catch him.

Glenn needs a bath, but you’re terrified he’ll poop in the tub. You decide to put him in his chair first, see if he’ll poop there. You give him a really short bath because you’re pretty sure he peed. You get him dressed and try to nurse him but he’s in a terrible mood. Owen won’t leave you alone. You scream at Owen. He screams back. Today is not going well. Glenn won’t stop crying. You tell Owen he should put you on time out. Glenn looks tired. You go to put the movie back on for Owen while Glenn screams and screams.

The Blu-ray player is being stupid and you have a complete meltdown that wakes up Bryan. Owen runs off crying as well. Bryan got Glenn to stop crying. You rant to him about how shitty the day’s been so far and that it’s your fault, not Owen’s. You tell Owen you got his movie playing. Glenn starts crying again when you try and nurse him. Alexa got unplugged at some point, so you plug her back in and put on the brown noise. Glenn falls asleep. You’re exhausted, you try to sleep too.

You can’t sleep, besides, Owen would probably wake you up as soon as you fell asleep. Your mom texts that they’re leaving their house. You tell her they can park in your spot. You try to sleep again. Glenn wants to nurse. You browse Reddit as he snoozes. You hear your parents arrive.

You really have to pee. You try and make your escape. Fail, he woke up. You take him downstairs to see your parents.

You see the Mario Monopoly game out, Owen was playing with your parents. Owen wants to play some more. You explain the game is over whenever you want it to be. He asks, “so I won?” The three of you respond “YES!” at the same time. You help Owen put the game away. You tell your dad what you found out about staying DVC in Disneyland. Glenn does some tummy time on his mat. He gets frustrated he can’t crawl. You change his diaper and leave for the Thai place.

Glenn doesn’t cry on the way there. Owen says, “Grandpa, carry me!” The parking lot is crowded, but the restaurant is empty. The waitress picks Owen up and carries him to your usual table. The waitress knows your usual order. Thai salad, red curry with steamed tofu. Glenn fusses so Bryan holds him for a while until he’s ready to nurse to sleep.

Owen draws a stand for his plate. Owen eats all your tofu and some of Grandma’s as well as most of the brown rice. You tell Owen he should use the potty before he goes so you don’t have to stop at Big Ed’s Barbecue again. Owen wants grandpa to take him. He asks if Owen has to go #1 or #2. You tell him it doesn’t matter, he does both on the toilet. When they get back, Grandpa says Owen used the urinal. As far as you and Bryan know, he’s never done that before. You ask if he learned how at camp. He says he did. Glenn wakes up and it’s safe to leave.

Glenn fusses most of the way home. Your dad talks about his dental work and how expensive it was. You tell him if he had gone to his cleanings, it would have been cheaper. You all discuss dentists and how annoying they can be. At home, Grandpa reads to Owen while you and Grandma try and make Glenn laugh.

Owen trips over his ice cream play set. You kiss his boo boo and he tackles you with a hug. He goes down to the basement to play video games.

Grandpa and Grandma leave. Owen doesn’t come up to say goodbye. You nurse Glenn. You put him in his chair to give him one last chance to poop before his next nap, but it doesn’t happen. He’s happy in the chair while you eat a little ice cream though. You put him in the carrier and walk on the treadmill. Glenn sleeps while you organize your shutterfly photos.

Glenn wakes up and you go sit by Owen who’s playing Mario Cart. You ask if he wants to play with you, he wants to play Mario Monopoly. You go upstairs and play until bedtime while Bryan plays with Glenn. You tell Owen you can play more tomorrow. He puts all of his coins back and you stop him, telling him you meant you could continue this game. You ask him how many coins he had, but he doesn’t know, so you guess.

You go upstairs to read books, but Alexa says your package arrived, so you go out and get it. Bryan has a package too, you call him down because it’s too big to get while holding the baby. You take your package upstairs and Owen is listening to Amazon story time. You got a new memory card. You give Owen the baby doll that arrived for him. He’s very happy. He nurses the baby. You ask him what his name is.

“.. Kai?”
“Car? Your baby’s name is car?”

You nurse Glenn while you listen to stories. You brush Owen’s teeth and ask him to go potty and change his underwear. You and Bryan sing the goodnight song to Car, Glenn and Owen. Bryan takes Glenn downstairs while you hang out with Owen s little longer.

You read him a book about a skunk instead of doing yoga tonight. You ask if he wants to talk about anything, no, but he wants you to hold Car for a minute.

You kiss him goodnight and leave to go workout on the elliptical. You and Bryan attempt to watch The Good Place while you workout, but Glenn is too fussy. You go upstairs to shower. You take a very sleepy Glenn from Bryan downstairs to the basement.

You nurse him to sleep while watching Orange is the New Black. Bryan says not to hurry upstairs because the neighbor is blasting “music” again. It’s actually a short sound clip he plays on loop over and over. You think maybe he has some mental disorder.

The episode isn’t over and the neighbor is still blasting music, but you’re tired and go upstairs anyway. You put on additional white noise in an attempt to drown out the music. You put some pants on Glenn and he falls right back to sleep. You use your phone to turn off the light and try to sleep too.

Glenn wakes up and you use this opportunity to go to the bathroom. Glenn is very offended though and screams. Crap. Hope he didn’t wake Owen up. On the bright side, you don’t hear the neighbor’s music anymore. Maybe you can actually sleep.

Glenn has a harder time falling asleep than usual. Eventually you both drift off. He wakes up again a little while later and you switch sides.

You both wake up, you intend to change his diaper, but you both fall back asleep. You hear Owen get up to use the potty.

Glenn wakes you up a half hour later. You nurse him and change his diaper. He’s having a bad night, poor thing. As you grab a new diaper you hear a burp followed by a wet stream down your shirt. You change your shirt and notice some on your pants too. You go bathroom, change his diaper and nurse him back to sleep.

Glenn wakes again and you nurse a cranky baby back to sleep. He wakes up again an hour later, but has a very hard time falling asleep. By 7am, Owen is still asleep and you’re still awake. He’ll probably wake up soon.

Owen wakes up and knocks on the door. You unlatch Glenn and he stays asleep, so you go cuddle with Owen and Car for a while. He wants to go to Merrill park again this morning. You invite Carolyn, Julia and Rachi, but no one else can make it.

Glenn wakes up. He’s very happy and social. He wants you to stick your tongue out. “Oongue!” Owen wants to play Mario Monopoly before breakfast, so you do for about a half hour. He wants to help you make waffles. You put Glenn in the carrier and make breakfast. They turned out really well today. Very easy to get out of the waffle maker. Today is going better than yesterday. Glenn wakes up and you nurse him. Owen wants a carrier for Car, so make him one from one of yours.

You pump some milk with the Hakaawhile Glenn nurses then Owen helps you feed it to him in a bottle. He’s not into it though and doesn’t really drink it. But he poops! And he’s very pleased about it. You change his diaper and get ready to leave for the playground.

Glenn was crying up a storm before you left, but he’s happy in the car until you get there. The playground is crazy. There must be five different camps here. You nurse Glenn while Owen plays. Some kid is yelling at Owen for no reason. You put Glenn in the carrier and lead Owen away from the crazy kid. The crazy kid wants you to take away another kid too, but you explain that one’s not yours. Glenn falls asleep and Owen pushes Car in the swing.

Owen gets himself stuck in the baby swing and loses his shoe. You help him hop over to a bench. He puts his shoe on and wants a snack. He has some Cheerios and you eat a cliff bar. He goes back to playing aaaand you’ve lost track of him. You wander around looking for him. There he is. A kid asks him if that’s his sister’s baby doll, he says no, it’s mine. He tells the other kids he’s 4 and his brother is 0.

You hold Car so Owen can climb. One of the counselors tells you how cute Owen is. One of the camps leave. Ok, that was all one camp, not four. It’s a lot more peaceful now. The other camp leaves too. Owen plays for a long time with a little boy named Andrew.

Glenn wakes up and you nurse him and walk around with him. Owen wants you to push him in the baby swing. You don’t want to, but the other kid grandpa pushes him, so you do it anyway.

You tell him Glenn is fussy and it’s time to leave. Owen gets suck again and another parent helps him out. He loses both shoes this time. He puts them back on and you head home.

You gotta pee real bad once you get home and let Glenn cry for a minute while you go potty. You take him to say hello to Bryan and tell him you texted him your grocery list. You nurse Glenn down for a short nap and then play more Monopoly after he wakes up.

Owen and Bryan go food shopping and you do a short arm and ab workout with Glenn. He laughs while you do Bird Dogs. You don’t know why he loves that one so much. He’s a fan of side planks too. You change his diaper and put the diapers in the wash. You nurse him off to sleep.

You wake Glenn up because he’s not letting you sneak out and you really have to pee and you’re starving and thirsty. Bryan got you a salad for lunch that you scarf down while playing Mario Monopoly with Owen. Glenn poops again! And you change his diaper. Back to salad and monopoly. You tell Owen you have to put Glenn for another nap soon and give him the option to end the game now or continue later. You end now and add up all the properties. You both have 140 points, but Owen has 3 more coins, he wins!

Glenn falls asleep pretty easily in the carrier. You pay some bills. Then Owen comes down and wants to watch something while you walk. You put on the new season of Dino Dana. She’s getting a new brother too :)

Glenn wakes up. Owen goes to take a bath and you stuff some of the dinner Bryan made (wraps) in your mouth and head upstairs too.
Owen wants you to read library books tonight. You use the force to get them from the closet (Bryan brings them to you.) Owen says, “no Mama, you’re not a Jedi!” You read one book while nursing Glenn. Bryan takes him to “prison” while you read the other two because he’s getting fussy. He likes being in there in the evening, you think because he’s over stimulated.
Owen gets ready for bed. You sing goodnight to Car, Glenn and Owen in the master bedroom and then go and do bedtime yoga with Owen in his room. He’s being a pain while you look for the video, but he does the routine nicely. You cuddle for another minute and then leave him and Car to sleep.

You go downstairs and watch the rest of that good place episode with Bryan while you do some more weights and then go upstairs to shower.
You go back down and nurse Glenn to sleep while watching Orange is the New Black. Bryan asks if you know Jen is pregnant, you respond back that you do. Your response startles Glenn so badly he starts crying like he’s hurt. Poor thing. After nursing for a minute he smiles and coos at you. He spits up a little, then nurses back to sleep again. You take him back upstairs to get some sleep yourself.