(Playing Star Wars) “This is poo poo, checking in. This is pee pee, checking in. This is caca checking in. This is (makes farting noise) checking in…”
Owen: “I found the Lego guy my mother”
Me: why do you call me “my mother?”
Owen: because you’re a princess
Me: in that case, carry on
Me: hey Owen, come here
Owen: I’m looking for a Lego thing
Me: just for a minute. How was school
Me: what did you do today?
Owen: I cut out shamrocks (walks back to Legos) I’m done talking to you now
Grammy: I’m more like auxiliary family
Owen: all alone, in this empty house
Me: did having the contract help you follow rules?
Owen: a little, but Connor broke the contract
Me: Connor didn’t have a contact, do you want to make one next time for him so he won’t call you names?
Me: what should happen if he breaks the rules?
Owen: the police should come and arrest him and take him to jail
We were hoping he would be an easier baby. In some ways he is. He actually sleeps at night … as long as he’s next to me. He’s better at breastfeeding. I guess everything else is because we have an idea what we’re doing now.
In general though, he is not a happy baby. If he’s not sleeping or eating, he’s crying. He’s awful at naps. He falls asleep if I walk him in the carrier, that’s about it. I’ve been getting a lot of steps. He loves being outside the most, unless it’s too windy or hot.
Nothing settles him from about 5-9. He’s angry at the world. He’ll scream and hit at my boobs for not putting him to sleep. There were some nights he didn’t fall asleep until 11 and he just got angrier and angrier. Bryan was saying last night that at least squats and some formula worked with Owen. This one wants nothing but sleep and he’s too tired to do it.
But he’s adorable. The other day when Bryan and Owen came home, he genuinely looked happy to see them. My favorite are the faces he makes when he’s pooping.
I had a really lousy couple of weeks pain wise. Between round ligament pain and gas pain that had me in tears, I was pretty miserable.
Lucky me, I went into early labor Thursday evening with irregular contractions. Didn’t sleep all night. Pain was awful, though still not as bad as the gas pain.
Friday evening, I thought my water broke so went to the hospital. Contractions were super intense after that. Turns out water didn’t break, but I was 5cm, so they admitted me. The doula tried to get me through the contractions, and she was wonderful, but got the epidural anyway. I was so tired of being in pain. The only reason I was unsure about it was because I didn’t want to prolong pushing again. Glad I got it, because I felt immense pressure once I got to 10cm and I told the doula I can feel the baby turning. She was like, what? And she looked under the blanket and there was his head. Everyone went nuts, one little push and he was out before the doctor got there.
Still haven’t slept much. Right now I’m on blue light eye cover monitor duty, but still feel way more refreshed than with Owen. A couple hours of sleep over the last four days > no sleep for like a week straight.
Feeling a bit less angry at the world now that I’ve recovered from the stomach bug. I did have fun last weekend at our girls’ getaway despite sinus issues. Nice catching up with everyone and eating yummy things :)
Onto some silly Owenisms
Owen: (quoting his book) I want to be an engineer when I grow up! Mama, what do you want to be when you grow up? Me: I am an engineer Owen: you are???
“I love you baby (kisses my tummy). I hope you OK in there. Don’t make Mama sick, ok?”
“Once upon at time there was a girl named Willow. And me and Willow went and picked pumpkins in the pumpkin patch. Then the friends had two pumpkins and they put them in the box.”
Me : They have waffles and pancakes and- Owen: Legos? Me: Legos? Those aren’t food Owen: Wait, I didn’t say that right.. um… Me: … You mean bagels? Owen: Yes, bagels!
While helping me shop for bras, he picks out a giant purple one: “Hey Mama, your boo boos would fit in this one!”
Bryan: do you have a tail? Owen: no, I only have a butt
Owen accompanied me to rite aid where I was buying snacks for our girls’ weekend trip: “Mama’s friends are hungry!”
Angry Owen: “I’m going to another planet and find a new Mama.”
Week 25 of misery. I look back at how badly I wanted to get pregnant and I feel like that was a different person. Now I’m just a sack incubating this thing that will come out and pee and poop and cry and keep us up all night.
Ok, I had a particularly bad week. Stomach bug + pregnancy = hell. I should just be thankful I was only puking my guts out for like 12 hours. I look forward to when I can walk up a flight of stairs without needing a nap again.
Last pregnancy, Owen cured my allergies, now I have pregnancy rhinitis and post nasal drip which has given me this cough because my abs aren’t sore enough from vomiting.
And we just got a $550 bill for a blood test that my Dr assured us wouldn’t cost that much. Fuck her. All she had to say was, “I don’t know how much it will cost, maybe you should check with your insurance.” We could have at least waited a week so the deductible counted towards this year.
1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I needed to find a new home for all of my office “friends,”. I did set them up in my basement. I wanted to do that free class on deep learning. That did not happen, but I almost finished the class on statistics. I gotta do something in terms of learning next year, because once I got pregnant all that stopped.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Rachi and Bushra
4. Did anyone close to you die? Papi :(
5. What countries did you visit? None
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018? I just want the year too go smoothly
7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don’t think any date in particular, but there were quite a few days I’d rather forget mixed with some happier ones
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I got a nice raise, created life
9. What was your biggest failure? Being pregnant and useless the last few months
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? The morning sickness was intense. Had a lot of stomach problems early in the year and a lovely cyst
11. What was the best thing you bought? Preschool for Owen
14. Where did most of your money go? Groceries? Disney, Colorado
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Baby #2!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
l. happier or sadder? Sadder honestly. Besides finally getting pregnant, it’s been a rough year and a rough pregnancy so far.
ll. thinner or fatter? Well, I’m pregnant
lll. richer or poorer? Poorer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Learning
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Throwing up
20. How will you be spending Christmas? People coming here
24. What was your favorite TV program? A lot of good TV this year. Travelers, The Man in the High Castle, The Marvelous Mrs Mazel. NBC even gifted an ending to Timeless. Someone high up must really like that show. It was awful, but better than nothing.
26. What was the best book you read? I think I’ve only read children’s books…
28. What did you want and get? To be pregnant
29. What did you want and not get? A girl, lol. And I don’t even know if he’s healthy cause he wouldn’t turn around.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? I must have watched something. Black Panther wasn’t bad… Oh, I found some time travel movie on HBO, About Time, that was cute
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Playground with friends and their littles. I turned 33.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Bad things not happening to loved ones.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? still stitch fix
34. What kept you sane? Owen. No matter how lousy I feel, that kid’s hugs make me feel better. Though he often drives me crazy too.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Stacey Abrams who ran for governor in Georgia. Real disappointed she didn’t win. She did an AMA on Reddit, seemed like a good person.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Oy. I just don’t understand Trump supporters at all. I think what bugs me the most is what we’re doing to our planet.
37. Who did you miss? Papi
38. Who was the best new person you met? The babies
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018: if you have one really bad encounter with a Dr, they’re probably awful and you should switch right away no matter how convenient they are
41. Summarize 2018: a lot of shit, literally and figuratively, but bursts of pure joy
42. What are you most looking forward to next year? I just want to make it out of the year alive
43. What were your predictions last year? When I said new office space, I meant the move downstairs, right? That happened earlier than I thought it would, but still pretty late. It has been tough on the One Team.
44. What are your predictions for 2019? We’ll all need therapy after the Game of Thrones finale; our new office space will be shiny, but suck; I will not sleep
Sitting here with my second cold in two weeks, thinking about how I haven’t felt well in months now. Then thinking about how lucky I am that I am pregnant and I don’t have the flu and baby is healthy so far and Owen hasn’t had to have his tooth pulled and my job isn’t stressful and I can work from home today and we get to go to Disney in a few months and things really aren’t so bad.