But can I feel better now please?

But can I feel better now please?

Sitting here with my second cold in two weeks, thinking about how I haven’t felt well in months now. Then thinking about how lucky I am that I am pregnant and I don’t have the flu and baby is healthy so far and Owen hasn’t had to have his tooth pulled and my job isn’t stressful and I can work from home today and we get to go to Disney in a few months and things really aren’t so bad.

Preschool Survey

Preschool Survey

PRESCHOOL TEST with no prompting ask your preschoolers these questions.

What is your name? Owen

How old are you? 4

When’s your birthday? 20 months

How old is mommy? 28

What is your favorite color? Green

What is your favorite food? Noodles

Who is your best friend? Matthew

What is your favorite show? Voltron

What is your favorite song? Green song, Christmas song

What is your favorite animal? Pteradactolis

What are you afraid of? A t-rex

What makes you happy? Matthew

Where is your favorite place to be? Two birthdays (we just came back from two parties)

What do you want to be when you grow up? Green astronaut

What does love mean? You! (points at me)

Baby #2

Baby #2

It took a little longer than we expected, but right before our trip to Colorado, we found out we had another little one on the way. I felt OK the first couple of weeks, just tired, but then the morning sickness hit. It’s been a rough couple of months. I keep telling myself it’s a happy 24/7 nausea as I’m throwing up all over the bathroom floor at work.

The medicine the Dr gave me helps, but I didn’t fill the prescription because I’m stupid. Well, it was because it makes me sleepy and doesn’t help completely and I thought I’d feel better by now. Spoiler: I don’t.

My appetite is back though. Oh man, today, I was sitting in training thinking about lunch and I thought, I could really go for some chicken nuggets. Did you know our cafeteria sells chicken fingers? I didn’t either! Probably because I never wanted them before. I was so excited! I never enjoyed chicken fingers more in my whole life.

Training sucked though. I fell asleep. And I wouldn’t have gone into work today because it snowed. He did let us out early, but it was still an awful drive home. Hearing about other folks’ commutes, I think I got lucky.

Back to happy things, Owen is super excited about being a big brother. He’ll sing to the baby and tell the baby he loves it <3 He even said he wants to get up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby when it cries. I told him his job is to get lots of sleep so he’ll grow real big.

Colorado 2018

Colorado 2018

We decided to head out West so Owen could meet Grandpa Harry. We were very anxious because traveling via rental car with a three year old could get pretty crazy. Luckily, I discovered this thing, so we didn’t have to drag around a car seat with us.

We flew out there on a Monday, got the rental car and stayed at a hotel between the airport and Breckenridge. We immediately checked out the pool, which was freezing because their heater was broken. So Owen and I ultimately ended up soaking our feet in the hot tub.

The next day we drove up to Breckenridge. We stopped at Bryan’s dad’s and step-mom’s office on the way there to see them. Owen was super impressed. We checked in at the hotel which is normally one of those crazy expensive places during ski season, but super reasonable in the summer. Of course, we went swimming. The kiddie pool was really great. It was huge and had water spraying things. Was a tad too cool in the mornings though, so we only went swimming three times.

The hotel also had a bowling alley which we took advantage of. Behind the hotel was a mini amusement park. Owen did the giant Alpine Slide with Bryan and the bouncy house there.

But Owen’s favorite part of staying in the hotel was the gondola. We rode that into town every day, multiple times a day. I personally would have liked to have done more shopping in town, but Owen was pretty cranky the whole week, so we mostly stuck to toy shopping and eating.

Owen was acting like he was pretty sick the second day we were up there, probably from the altitude. After we forced him to take some tylenol and drink some water, he felt much better. He still didn’t eat normally the whole week though and was generally pretty tired cranky.

I was pretty cranky the last day too. I was really looking forward to the Great Rubber Duck Race and they cancelled it because the water level was too low :'( They still did the bouncy houses and stuff, so Owen had a good time and he didn’t really know what he was missing out on. I’m still disappointed.

We spent some time at Grandpa Harry and Grandma Cookie’s house too. He had a good time jumping on their trampoline. He keeps saying he misses Grandpa Harry and he wants to go back to Colorado, so I guess he had a good time.

Owen Says Part 4

Owen Says Part 4

Owen: (pointing to face cream) Mama, that medicine?”
Me: sure, yeah, it’s medicine
Owen: mama, you need to rest

Owen: I fall and bump the mouth. All the blood! Have to clean up the blood, feel better. Oh poor Owen! There blood all over! Want mama. Mouth all better now!

(Wearing a Batman mask)
Me: are you Adam West Batman?
Owen: I’m not Batman, I’m Owen

Owen: (on leaving Disney) go plane, go home to Owen’s house
Me: are you excited about going home?
Owen: not really

Owen: I lost Connor, I lost my son :(

Me: look at that baby butt!
Owen: Dada has a big butt

Me: I love my little boy
Owen: I love my little Mama

Me: do you want some almond milk?
Owen: milk is for babies
(I giggle)
Owen: Mama, Dada has a big butt

Me: Owen, tell me a story
Owen: once upon a time.
Me: That’s the whole story?
Owen: yeah. …
Owen: … once upon a time there was a little Mama who wanted to sleep. Once upon a time there was a big Dada who wanted to sleep in Dada bed. Once upon a time there was a little boy who wanted to sleep and drink water. Wait, where’s my water, there it is! (Drinks water) And there was a little baby and the baby was crying for his Mama, wah, wah! Dada downstairs, hi Dada! Once upon a time there was a big boy named Owen. Once upon a little there was a little girl named Husapufapoopoo
Me: Husapufapoopoo?
Owen: yeah and Husapufapoo poo went poo poo

Owen: Aww, so cute (puts doggy in his crib) OK, now I get a bottle. (Gets a paper tube and pretends to feed the doggy.) OK, now I get him baking soda.
Me: baking soda? But doggies don’t eat baking soda
Owen: no, it’s pretend baking soda

Day in life 2018

Day in life 2018

Friday, May 25th, 2018


Owen wakes you up from a deep sleep. You were dreaming about Mickey and Minnie and there was an airport and a puzzle where the answer was Blade Runner.

“Owen, it’s kinda early little one.”
“It’s not early. The Pee pee coming out.”
“Then you should use the potty.”
“I get the Green worm? I don’t have the green worm.”
“I’ll buy you a green worm if you don’t have an accident for a whole week.”
He rolls on top of your chest. “Look I’m sleeping on mama! (snoring sounds)”
“Owen I have to use the potty.”
“No, me first!”

You help him onto the potty and ask if he wants a smoothie or waffle for breakfast. What? Why do you ask him if he wants waffles? Of course he wants waffles. Now you need to make waffles. You bring him the iPad and put on Daniel Tiger while he poops.

“Have to pack? Have to pack socks, have to pack toys? Owen take a bath, no, Owen take a shower?”
“Baby, we’re not going to pack yet. We’re not going to Disney for a loooooong time”
“Oh, alright”

You boil some water in the microwave for your tea. You recently discovered that the trick to vegan waffles is to cook them a little longer. You preheat the waffle irons and start mixing the ingredients. Shoot, you forgot the soak the flax meal. Is that a thing? Does it need to soak? You let it soak for a minute while you wash out his smoothie cup from yesterday. As the waffles are baking, you bring Owen up his water.

“You make waffle?”
“Not yet, another couple of minutes”

He reminds you you need to buy him a green snake. You remind him of the conditions for getting the green snake. The waffles are done and you bring one up to him.

You heat up some strawberries for yourself. You munch on one of yours while you wait. They came out pretty good. You sit down to eat when Owen yells down asking for another waffle. You bring it to him and he thanks you. You then go eat your waffle. Oooh, irregular choice has a Toy Story line, but you just bought new shoes, but, but, they’re so cute.

When you’re done, you make it upstairs just in time to turn off the iPad as Daniel ends. You brush your teeth while he finishes his waffle and then he brushes his while you put in your contacts. You help him into his pull-up, a requirement when he has school because he still has accidents frequently. It’s actually just a little art class at the town’s rec center, but they do letters and numbers too. You’ll send him three days a week next year and then do pre-k at the Montessori school the year after since that’s ten times more expensive, but you don’t think he’ll be ready for kindergarten when he’s four even though he meets the cutoff.

You tell him he needs to pick out clothes, but he’s looking out the window.

“My school’s down there! Go in Owen’s car? Go in Owen’s black car?”
“It’s gray sweetie.”
“No, it’s black.”
“OK, pick out clothes.”

He picks out a Mickey shirt and some pants and you help him a little to get dressed.

“Up there, the box!” (points to closet)
“Those are your baby pictures.”
“Can I reach? Can I jump and reach?” (tries jumping) “No, I can’t reach.”
“It’s very high. How about we go out and do bubbles instead, we can look at pictures later.”
“Bubbles??!!? OK!”
“Happy birthday Mama!” (he gives you a big hug)
“It’s not my birthday yet, but thank you. Let’s go do bubbles.”
“I’ll go get my green shoes!”

You help him find his green sandals. He notices the crumbs all over the floor, “oh no, crumbs! It’s a mess! Owen sit on the couch and have cereal, om nom nom!” He puts his shoes on himself while you get your shoes and the bubbles with the bubble machine. You head out onto the deck.

The wind is really blowing the bubbles today. They fly over the house and into the neighbors’ yards. Owen is impresesed. So is his friend a couple doors down who comes out to see the bubbles floating onto his deck. Owen asks him to join you, but there’s no way he was loud enough to hear, plus he probaby went back inside. Owen pops the bubbles with a couple of keychains and some leaves.

After refilling the machine four times, you go back inside. He wants to play with Mickey on the track. He draws a loop for you to make. You can’t find Mickey though. After looking in the toybox and under the couch, you find him on the floor in the dining room. Owen is thrilled. You put together the track and make loop after loop that he draws and send Mickey over. It’s working pretty well today, he doesn’t fall much. The track is magnetic, it’s a pretty neat toy.

You tell Owen that it’s time to wake up Dada. Owen also has to pick out a book for school. You go upstairs. You wake Bryan up. Owen doesn’t hesitate, he knows exactly what book he wants to bring: “Daniel’s Day at the Beach.” You throw it in his backpack. He bounces around and “fixes Tigger’s tail.”

You tell him he needs to use the potty before he goes to school. After he’s done, he tells you there’s a bee stuck in the window. He brings you to the bedroom where there is in fact, a wasp, stuck between the screen and the glass. Owen watches it fascinated. No way you can help the thing without it coming into the house, so it can hang out there until it dies.

You get Owen some socks and help put his shoes on. You refill his water and put it back in his bag. He hands you a pink bead, “here Mama, it’s for you!. Bye Mama, have fun!” “Have fun at school.”


You log into work. Bryan comes downstairs and takes Owen to school. You bring your laptop downstairs and start working as you walk on your treadmill. Joe wants you to move next week’s rehearsal to 5:15 because you both have a meeting. The team you’re working with isn’t tryng to steal your code, they want to use it for correlation… that’s exactly what you’ve been trying to do. I guess you’l see next week. Maryam asks if you think leadership will let you out early today. Oh yeah, it’s a holiday weekend. You hope so. You email your shopping list to Bryan.

You have a meeting today to use this API to get data from the dashboard team’s database, so you try out wget to see how that will work. You wish you didn’t volunteer to fix the stupid thing. OK, you probably should have tried a smaller request, this is taking a long time.

Ron invites your walking group to a walk on the 31st, but you decline the invite as you have another meeting at that time. The API still hasn’t returned a response. You email Meera the access your intern will need. Actually, you cna put him into the system yourself, so you do that and email Meera asking her to approve. You sit down.

That API never finished. Time to join your 10:30 meeting. It looks like the developer that was supposed to make the API for you isn’t around today. He’s on the West coast. Well, who would be awake this early? He’s actually going to join. He’s off today? This really isn’t that important. They didn’t realize you wanted ALL the data at once. They can still do that. You have to find out what the heck this cogs field is.

Bryan tells you Owen was so excited for school, he was yelling at the cars at the green light to go. You join the Ops ML meeting. This deep reinforcement learning topic is very interesting, but people were asking very boring questions last week. You walk some more. Normally you’re hungry by now, but those waffles were very filling.

Elissa(11:26:24 AM): lol
Maryam(11:26:29 AM): ?
Elissa(11:26:30 AM): did you see that?
Elissa(11:26:47 AM): if you didn’t notice, I’m not gonna say anything
Maryam(11:26:52 AM): what
Elissa(11:26:55 AM): lol
Maryam(11:26:58 AM): now you have to tell me
Elissa(11:27:03 AM): I’ll tell you on tuesday
Maryam(11:27:21 AM): oh not appropriate on Q
Elissa(11:28:14 AM): there was an inappropriate popup, probably an ad or spam

He asks if anyone has used Keras. You have. You type instead of speaking since your mic isn’t hooked up. Oh, you find a reference to “cogs” in the html. Meeting is over. You go upstairs to make sure Bryan has left to pick up Owen. You give him your purple water bottle for extra water at the playground. Oh boy, you can do real work now. You and Maryam are working on natural language processing of tickets to find patterns. It’s pretty fun. Maybe you’ll warm up some leftoever ziti first.

You get disconnected from rcloud :( You run your code again. You’re not sure where you left off yesterday, so you’ll check the output of what’s there already. You’re still hungry so you have some popcorn. The buffalo is over-seasoned, so you mix in some cheddar which is also over-seasoned. Your mom texts asking if you’re seeing them on Sunday. Yes, but she didn’t send you their vacation schedule, so you made plans for the 9th. OK, this clustering algorithm isn’t working out either. Maybe you’ll go back to what you had originally.


Your fitbit is reminding you it’s time to move. You have 6,296 steps so far today. You move your desk up to get in a few more.This clustering isn’t going so well. Maybe if you get some more training data and filter out the OK messages. You watch the “Christopher Robin” trailer while your model trains. That sounds like something you could bring Owen to. You walk as you prepare for your 2:30 meeting on preparing for your ML presentation.

Owen comes down and shows you what you made in his art class.

Your meeting starts. You agree to use some of the slides from your previous presentation and then the three of you will talk about work you’re doing in ML. You fix up your slides a little so you have something prepared for the next time you meet. Whoot, done for the day!

Owen wants to play with the sand outside. Bryan says the teachers said he used the potty at school. It’s too hot outside, so you play with the sand inside.

The doorbell rings, Owen is super excited. It’s your subscribe and save stuff already. He tries to open your box of tampons. Bryan got a box too, a game controller, “it’s Dada’s game!”

You go out and play with the bubbles again. You keep telling him to stop playing with the plants.

It’s sidewalk chalk time now. He draws a lady bug and an airplane that’s flying to Disney. He asks you to draw a snake. He plays with the rocks in the rock spot. You get three rocks. He counts them.

He wants to go for a walk now, so he puts on his sneakers. You’re super stylish today. You never changed out of your pajamas, just threw on a bra.

You see one of his friends on your walk, but he’s leaving. Aftering walking around the neighborhood and not finding anyone to play with, he wants to walk through the “jungle.” You argue about the fastest way to get to the wooded area, but you win. He loses a rock on the way. He wants you to go down a slide. A group of older kids come by. Owen likes the girl’s green shirt. “It’s my green shirt.”

Finally some kids his age show up. He plays with them for a while. You convince him to leave which isn’t that hard since he’s out of water and he’s hungry. He says he wants an almond butter sandwich. He runs back home and makes it to the front door before you do. 10,000 steps!

You make him an almond butter sandwich while he paints. You have some more ziti. When he’s done he asks if you’re done. He wants to play dinosaurs. You chase him, he chases you. You remember he needs to use the potty and make him go. You tell him you’ll give him a treat if he goes. He wants to wear his spiderman “underwear.” He wants one of your earrings as a reward. You meant chocolate or something. You end up giving him a candy cane earring. He wants you to put the mattress up and be a doggy. He tells you to sit on the mattress and he comes down from the top of it and tackles you. You do this over and over.


He’s getting pretty agressive which means he must be tired. You suggest looking at his baby book. He agrees. You tell him he should get ready for bed and to pick out a book. “No! Mama pick out a book!” You pick out “Go to Sleep, Little Farm.” He picks out a Thomas the Train book and then “Is It Christmas Yet?” You read the last one in bed.He asks if Christmas is soon, no, not soon. He really wants to put up the Christmas tree. He asks if it fits though the door for the attic. Bryan says yes because it folds up.

You make him use the potty again and brush his teeth. He’s acting pretty crazy. You get in bed, he’s hitting you and Bryan, you stop him and tell him you won’t stay if he hits. You and Bryan sing and Bryan leaves.

Owen is bouncing off the walls. He starts getting aggressive again so you leave the room for a minute. You come back and sing songs to try and get him to chill. He wants to hear the “Peter Piper” song over and over. He’s getting crazy again. You tell him you’re very angry and you’re angry because last night he wouldn’t rest, he couldn’t fall asleep and ended up crying for a long time and Dada had to come in to help him sleep. He calms down a bit after that. You sing one more song, “When Somebody Loved Me” and cuddle some more. He’s pretty calm now, but says he wants to look out the window. You tell him that’s not a good idea because that prevented him from falling asleep last night. You tell him to lie down in bed and rest. He does. He doesn’t want you to leave. You remind him you need to exercise and shower and then you’ll come back later to sleep. You cuddle with him for one more minute and then say good night and leave.

You go down to the basement. You check on Owen in the monitor. He’s sitting on the bed, probably debating on whether to look out the window. You go into the exercise room, but decide to get some water first. You check on Owen again, he’s lying down now. You use the elliptical while you watch the last episode of “The Man in the High Castle.” So good! It’s different from what you thought it would be. You check on Owen in the monitor, still asleep. You make some smores, check the internets, then head up to shower.


You sit down at your computer, but you hear Owen cry “Mama!” You check the monitor, he’s still asleep, must be sleep crying, you stay put. You have a message from Julia. She’s having an awful time lately :( You message her back. You decide to do one video of your statistics class and then you can reward yourself with a sitcom. The statistics stuff is super dry, but it’s things you’re going to need to know if you stick with data science. The problem you watched was kinda interesting and didn’t put you to sleep, so you’ll watch another. That was also more interesting than usual.

It’s late, but your hair is still wet. You decide to watch the Man in the High Castle bonus features until it’s bedtime. There’s actually going to be a third season? Sweet!


Ok, you should really go to bed now. You go get your charging Fitbit and plug in your devices. You say goodnight to Bryan. He’s impressed Owen is honest now; when you asked him if he hit Dada he said, “yup!” You sneak back into Owen’s room and go sleepies.

He wakes up once crying he needs a blankie and his bunny under the blanket. You both fall back asleep until the sun wakes you up at 6:15.

Disney 2018

Disney 2018

It wasn’t as good as our last two trips. Not just because of our loss, though that was a big factor obviously, but also because our expectations were a little too high. The last two trips we didn’t have any plans at all really, we just did whatever Owen wanted. This time we had fastpasses and reservations and sometimes our plans and Owen’s opinions didn’t jive. We remained flexible and lost a few fastpasses to time at the pool, but I think the payoff with Owen’s mood was worth it. I think he would have liked more time at the “little beach,” but it was just too chilly most days for swimming.


He loved the characters. I think he was disappointed Mickey and Minnie don’t have houses on the East coast, but he accepted it. He loved the Barnstormer, he rode that 7 times and the Mine Train. And of course the Frozen ride. I think we officially exhausted our restaurant sitting time for the month with him. Bryan and I did go on Flight of Passage and it was amazing. Would not wait three hours for it, but definitely worth waking up at 7am to make the fast pass reservations.

We left at 5am on Saturday. I picked Owen up out of bed and said, “no Mama, I don’t want to use the potty.” He was happier when I explained we were going to go on a plane to Disney. Our driver sucked. He brought an infant car seat and he didn’t understand why we were upset. I don’t understand why this is always a problem. They were perfect about the car seat in CA. If your business offers car seats, you should educate your employees on them. So we used our seat and the rest of the morning went smoothly. We went to Disney Springs and had dinner at The Boathouse.

The first Sunday we were there was my dad’s birthday. We got up early, even though it was the first day of daylight savings and headed to the Magic Kingdom. It was empty for about the first hour. We went on Pooh, dumbo, the barnstormer, small world. By the time we met up with my parents for lunch, Owen was exhausted and was asking to go back to the hotel. We didn’t want to force him to stay in the park, but we did have fastpasses for the mine train right after lunch, so we told him we would do the roller coaster and then leave. He was totally onboard with that plan. He loooooved it.

Turns out he didn’t want to nap, I guess he was just over the heat and the crowds. So I made another winning suggestion and asked if he wanted to go swimming. He loved that even more. After the pool, we headed to dinner at the California Grill which is always one of our favorites. I love how Owen orders his own food and water. They brought out the pizza for him right away which made the dinner go much more smoothly.

On Monday, we woke up early again, but EPCOT wasn’t going to open until 9, so we headed to the Animal Kingdom for its extra magic hour. That was a mistake. It was the most crowded any Park was that entire week. Flight of passage had a 240 minute wait before the park even opened. Even the stupid bugs life show had a 30 minute wait. Owen was also crazy grumpy. We did triceratops spin a few times and then got the hell outta there.

EPCOT was pretty crazy too. I’ve never seen imagination with a wait, never mind a 45 minute wait. I guess it didn’t help spaceship earth was down for a few hours. We waited 40 for Nemo because the posted wait was a bit off. Owen didn’t seem to mind. He was really good on the queues. He had adventures with his toys. Lunch was character dining at the Garden Grill. Food was meh for the price, but Owen loved the rotating restaurant, the “jungle” and the characters. I think we shared pizza that night a Via Napoli.

Tuesday was shit. In the morning we met Buzz and Woody and BB-8 before I saw Lyn called. We were on line to meet Chewbacca and I was watching Bryan on the phone. By the time he got off the phone I was hysterical, he didn’t even need to tell me, I knew, he just nodded. Disney was great with us though. They entertained Owen so we could cry and call and just process what had happened. They gave us fastpasses and took us to get hugs from Pluto. We probably should have gone back to our hotel, but we ended up blowing up at the cast members at the star tours which we ended up not doing at all. After lunch we were a little better, but, I didn’t feel like I was there. Felt like I was walking around in a dream. I just wanted to make sure Owen had fun and he did. He loved Sci-fi and Toy Story Midway Mania.

We woke up Wednesday with renewed determination to have a good time. We headed to the animal kingdom and got pictures with some of Owen’s favorites: Russel from Up and Flik from A Bug’s Life. We made a last minute decision to use our Landry’s card to get into Yak and Yeti because it was crazy crowded anyway. Glad we did because it ended up being one of my favorite meals of the trip surprisingly. We had fastpasses for Navi River Journey which was actually pretty cool despite the meh reviews. The petting zoo was a disappointment. The animals weren’t social like last year. Maybe because it was later in the day and there were more people. Owen enjoyed the safari though. Dinner was at Sanaa at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. We didn’t see any animals during dinner, but the food was really good. Well, the one dish anyway. I remembered why I hadn’t originally scheduled a big meal for lunch though. We were a little too full to enjoy everything, but nothing wrong with leftovers for breakfast.

Thursday we went back to the magic kingdom. It was a bit more crowded than the first morning, but we managed to do the rest of the rides on our list plus the mine train again and the barnstormer another few times. I finally got to have my dole whip pineapple upside-down cake that was almost as good as I expected it to be. Dinner was at Be Our Guests. I think Owen liked the restaurant, but he was going a little nuts, I think because he was so tired. He liked meeting The Beast at the end though.

Friday we did EPCOT again. Not quite as crowded as the first day we went, but still a little nuts. We back back to the hotel after our Via Napoli lunch and went swimming. That kid would have lived in the pool if we let him. I was a little too cold though. After the pool we went back to EPCOT for our fastpasses and to eat dinner at The Land. Owen needed to do Nemo again so we spent a little while after at the Living Seas. He liked the manatees. One even made him jump as it swam buy :)

Saturday we went back to the Animal Kingdom. I think it was the least crowded day of the trip. We did the playground again and the Nemo show. Bryan and I did Flight of Passage which was just so cool. The seat vibrated and tickled my tummy though, ha ha. Dinner was at I’ll Mulino which is always one of our favorites of the trip. Owen was happy to play on the little playground by the Swan right before.

Sunday we had one last character meal before heading home. It was nice to actually do something Disney-like on the last day. I think it put Owen in a better mood too. I asked him if he was excited to go back home and he said, “not really.” Stuffing ourselves worked out well for that hour long delay we faced at the airport. Then there was drama because they switched Owen’s seat without informing us. Fortunately there was a lovely woman next to us who agreed to switch seats. Owen had a good time at the airport too playing with a little girl. He really needs to hang out with kids more often.

So it wasn’t the best trip, but it wasn’t completely ruined or anything. Owen had a blast which is the important part. We didn’t think we would be going back for a while, but I’m still not pregnant, so who knows.

Saying Goodbye to Papi

Saying Goodbye to Papi

My father-in-law passed away suddenly on the 13th.

Jack was the best. When Bryan lists out the best qualities he brings to our relationship, Lyn and Jack are always come up. He was always there to help us and support us. We’re “adults,” but I feel like there was still so much he was teaching us about being grownups. He helped us buy our house and paint the nursery. He was the first one at the hospital to meet Owen. Sharing a Klondike with Papi had been a highlight of Owen’s visits lately. They loved each other so much.

We were on line to meet Chewbacca in Disney when we heard. Some kind cast members took us aside and let us compose ourselves. It was a complete shock because he was in very good health. I’ll make a separate post about Disney. I wish Papi could have seen all the pictures, he would have loved them. I can’t bring myself to post anything on Facebook. It makes me so sad that he won’t be liking anything anymore.

His service was nice. Even though there was a fucking snow storm, because the universe can’t give my mother-in-law a break, plenty of people still came. Bryan and Chris spoke and Rae sang. I was supposed to sing but my cold took my voice from me. I think I was better off, I don’t think I would have made it through a whole song. It was harder than I thought it would be. Watching the kids trying to make sense of what happened really got to me. I think they know he’s gone, I’ve read they don’t really understand it’s forever at this age though.

Owen keeps saying, “I miss Papi. Papi is gone. Papi’s not go home. Papi is sleeping.” He’s been a little aggressive lately and I think, maybe because he doesn’t understand his feelings. I told him it’s OK to feel sad and angry. It’s also OK to feel happy at the same time, because happy things happen even when you’re sad.

The Doctor Made it Better

The Doctor Made it Better

Sometimes I forget I have a blog. The year has been going pretty well so far. I got a really good review at work which hopefully translates into some $$$. I did two training sessions of machine learning last week which were so impressive, there’s talk of giving our team real, funded work :D

I also finally got a new phone, s8, so I can download apps again :D it took forever to get it because the first one they sent had some security problem. This one has been perfect so far though.

Owen fell and hurt his mouth last week. We had a few really rough days after, mostly because he wouldn’t eat. I had to take off work on Monday so we could get him checked out at the dr and so Bryan had help forcing a smoothie into his mouth. We literally had to hold him down and squirt it in with a syringe. It was awful. So glad he started eating yogurt on his own the next day. This morning he woke up and told me he wanted to use the potty and have a smoothie like normal because his mouth was all better now <3 <3 <3 He attributes his healing mouth to his doctor, as well as the ear infection he had last month getting better and his figure that he hurt like a year ago :D

We’ve been sick a lot. Every time we’re supposed to go see Julia and the baby, we get sick or Owen smashes his face. I’m almost afraid to make plans with her now. I did see Rachelle’s baby though. She’s so sweet. Missed newborn snuggles.

TMI ahead. We’ve been trying to get pregnant, but I’ve had weird spotting every month. Finally went to the doctor to get checked out and he removed something on my cervix, but said that wouldn’t have prevented us from getting pregnant, so just keep trying for another 3 or 4 months. As a control freak, it kinda drives me nuts, but just gotta be patient I suppose. Hopefully I won’t have any spotting this month confusing matters though.